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Tuesday, April 23, 2019

A (Holi)Day In The Life

Weekends at the pharmacy are their own strange little days but holidays on weekends are even more anomalous. Something happens to people to the point where their brains must shut down and enter power saving mode. It's the only explanation for some of the interactions I've had.

CP: This is CP, Pill Pauper Extraordinaire, how may I help you?
Won't Hear Any Thing: I am out of medication. Can you give me some?
CP: Whoa. Right to the chase. Unfortunately, I cannot.
WHAT: What? Why?
CP: Did you call your doctor?
WHAT: It's Saturday.
CP: Yes. And? Many offices have after hours services. You should try them.
WHAT: I'm suffering.
CP: Then you should call the office sooner rather than later.

<2 hours later>

CP: CP's Palace of Pills. How may I help you?
Wilful Husband Of WHAT: My wife is out and needs some medication.
CP: I believe I spoke with WHAT earlier. Did she call the office as I suggested?
WHO,WHAT: No. She's in a lot of pain and going through withdrawal.
CP: Better call the office now then.
WHO,WHAT: She took her last one last night.
CP: Okay. And we filled it 45 days ago. For a 30 days supply. She has missed more than one day in the last month. I'm pretty sure she will make it to Monday.
WHO,WHAT: So you won't help me?
CP: If it's that severe, call the office.
WHO,WHAT: But it's Saturday.
CP: Why do you keep saying that? Phones work on the weekends. Prescribers are on call. With e-scripts now many respond to refill requests to ease the Monday work burden. Call them.

<2 hours later>

CP: How may I. . .
WHO: Can I please have some medication?
CP: No. Did you call your office?
WHO: I called them during the week and my doctor is on vacation and no one would call in a refill for me.
CP: Okay. And what about today? Did you call like I advised you and your husband earlier?
WHO: No. It's Saturday.
CP: Call them.

<1 hour later>

CP: Hello? Is it me you're looking for?
Nice Prescriber: Calling a refill for a patient. Apparently her office didn't call in her refill this week so I wanted to give her a week's worth.
CP: You're so kind. I'm glad she called you. I've been advising her to call all day.
NP: You're welcome.

<15 minutes later>
CP: Calling to let you know your office called in a short-term supply for you. In the immortal words of Rod Roddy, "come on down!".

WHO,WHAT: Here to pick up for WHAT.
CP: Have a nice day!
WHO,WHAT: <storms off>
CP: You're welcome! <hums "Closing Time" while shutting down computer, sees an e-script for a 90 days supply from patient's prescriber; closes head in door while exiting>

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