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Thursday, March 14, 2019

Pete and Repeat Are in a Boat. . .

CP: CP, Master Pill Pauper. How may I help you? 
Pt: I am here to pick up my prescription. 
CP: Name?
PT: Barf. 
CP: Your full name? 
Pt: Barfolomew!
CP: Date of Birth? 
Pt: 5/5/75. 
CP: I do not have anything ready for you. 
Pt: My doctor was supposed to send it. 
CP: Today? 
Pt: Yes. 
CP: I checked my will call section. I checked my e-scripts. I checked my faxes, my voicemail, my drone deliveries and the old paper airplane landing strip and we haven't anything for you. 
Pt: He was supposed to send it. 
CP: Nothing here. 
Pt: Nothing from my doctor? 
CP: Nothing here. 
Pt: From Dr. Acula? 
CP: Nothing here. 
Pt: It's for my blood thinner. 
CP: Nothing here. 
Pt: I take it every day. 
CP: Nothing here. 
Pt: He said I need to take it every day. 
CP: Nothing here. 
Pt: Are you sure he didn't send it? 
CP: Nichts hier. 
Pt: I was just at the office. 
CP: Nimic Aici. 
Pt: It's the weekend and they're closed. 
CP: Nothing. Here! Do I really need to be here for this or are you just having a conversation with yourself? 
Pt: I just need to make sure he didn't send it. I need it. 
CP: Yes. You made that quite clear. However, as much as you made clear you need it, I made twice as clear I don't have it. There is nothing here. I can keep explaining it to you, but I can't understand it for you. If you'll excuse me, I have a spot on the wall calling my name and a forehead that needs a solid knocking. 
Pt: Ok. What shall I do? 
CP: Call the office? Or keep talking to yourself? But I'm pretty sure I don't need to be here for either so, good day. 
Pt: Real quick? 
CP: Yes? 
Pt: Can you check again?
CP: <runs to wall, beats head, smiles again>


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