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Friday, December 28, 2018

Like Water For Water

With flu season getting ready to come into full swing, and everyone believing they have the flu now that they've spent the holidays with their families, it's to break out the winter advice.
Here is the first of the season.

Original Grandpa: Do you have something over the counter?
CP: Yes. We have lots of things over the counter.
OG: I'm looking for Onti-biotics
CP: There are no antibiotics OTC.
OG: I don't know how to pronounce it.
CP: Then I don't know what you seek.
OG: Os-Cal-Ium?
CP: Yeah. I know what you need, but I'm waiting to see if you pull a muscle.
OG: Ob-ste-tri-cium?
CP: Keep going. This is entertaining.
OG: On-top-of-Old-Smoky?
CP: Oooh. Onomatapoeia?
OG: No. I give up.
CP: Bummer. I bet it's oscillococcinum.
OG: Sounds better when you say it.
CP: Practice. Shall I find it for you?
OG: Yeah. I don't know where to look or what it looks like.
CP: Or how to say it, or anything else about it so let's run to the pharmacy and get it. Here it is. Now buy it.
OG: I was hoping you had an off-brand.
CP: We do.
OG: You do?
CP: Yep.
OG: What is it? I'll take that.
CP: Hold out your hands.
OG: Okay.
CP: <pours air from my cupped hands into his cupped hands, careful not to spill any> Now take a deep breath. If you like, I can sell you a bottle of water to wash it down.
OG: Hmm. Maybe I'll just stick with the name brand.
CP: Suit yourself. It's your money.

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