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Friday, June 30, 2017

No One Is Available To Take Your Call

Patient of Irrational Expectations: Why is my medication so expensive?
CP: Baby needs diapers.
PIE: What? You always do this to me.
CP: Do what?
PIE: Overcharge me. You're supposed to be matching my price.
CP: Did you tell me that when you called in your refill?
PIE: No. You should just know.
CP: Yes. As you are the only patient keeping my business afloat, I know yours is the one prescription on which we match prices. Whom are we matching?
PIE: It's that independent across the street.
CP: Ah yes. "We Be Druggists". We purchased them 4 years ago when their pharmacist retired. With a name like that, it's no wonder they went out of business.
PIE: And you're supposed to be matching their prices.
CP: But they went out of business. Four years ago. We bought them. We have their phone number too.
PIE: I just want you to match their price.
CP: Would you like me to call them?
PIE: Yes!
CP: <puts phone to ear and dials the old "We Be Druggists" phone number>
      It's ringing.
      <picks up other line and holds it to other ear>
   CP: Hello?
   CP: Hello?
   CP: I'd like to get a price quote.
   CP: Sure thing.
   CP: How much is this prescription?
   CP: $31.38
   CP: How much do you charge?
   CP: Wow. We charge $31.38 as well.
   CP: Wow. Miss PIE wanted us to match her price.
   CP: She's a little demanding, but she's sweet. Tell her I miss her.
   CP: Will do.
PIE: What did they say?
CP: He said to say "Hi!" and that he misses you and that the price is the same as what we're charging.
PIE: How can that be?
CP: Must be inflation or something. Apparently the cost of being closed has gone up over the last 4 years.
PIE: Fine. I'll pay it today. But you better check all my prices with them in the phuture.
CP: Yes, ma'am. Just remind me before you come down to pick up your prescriptions. They're not always this easy to reach.
PIE: Will do.

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