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Wednesday, September 14, 2016

Hear Me Now And Listen To Me Later

Sans Checking Any Messages: You guys called me and I don't know why? 
CP: Did we leave a message? 
SCAM: Yes. But I didn't listen to it. You've called me 3 times. 
CP: Professional tip: I'm going to hang up now. You go back, listen to the messages and, if there is any confusion about the reason for our calls, you may then call me back. 
SCAM: Do you have prescriptions there for me? 
CP: We do. One really expensive medication. We left you 3 messages. It required prior authorization which your prescriber worked diligently to obtain. We then had to special order the item for you. 
SCAM: Why do you have it? 
CP: Your prescriber sent it to us. 
SCAM: I told them I wanted it at your other location. 
CP: Oh. See, here's what really happens. We compete with each other. If we finish all our own work, we start searching other stores' files for prescriptions they haven't yet filled. Our modus operandi at this store is to select the most expensive items from other stores so we can hit our sales goals without doing too much work; in other words, fewer prescriptions. Once we steal it, they can't fill it. That's why we called you. Sure it's called incestuous cannibalism, but we're keeping it in the phamily. It's a new way to stimulate competition for meeting metrics among the stores. 
SCAM: But I want it there. 
CP: Well, since I ordered this for you, after your prescriber and I exchanged numerous phone calls since last Friday, and left you almost as many messages, I'm going to have to ask you to pick it up here. Yeah. So if you could just swing on by and remove this from my inventory, that'd be great. 

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