CP: The number of people this week who asked "why did my doctor prescribe that for me" is too damn high!
CPP: For the uninitiated, this is where I play Devil's Advocate, to prove we thought of the boring reasons patients are asking this question.
CP: Right. There's a difference between "what is this for?" and the following indictments of annoyingly obtuse offenders.
CPP: Shall oui?
CP: Lettuce.
Uber-Tech: Is this Mr. VEM?
Better Off Forgetting About Various Electronic Medications: Uh-huh.
UT: We received a couple new prescriptions from Dr. Zoffis today and we have to order them for tomorrow. Also, I wanted to give you the prices before we order them.
BOFA VEM: I didn't ask for any medications.
UT: Well your Dr. Zoffis apparently thought you needed them.
BOFA VEM: What are they for?
UT: Did you see your provider today?
BOFA VEM: Yes.
UT: Did you just randomly bump into him on the street? Or did you schedule an official appointment for a particular illness/reason?
BOFA VEM: I did.
UT: Did you discuss these issues with your provider?
BOFA VEM: Yes. We discussed both of them.
UT: And. . . what was the result of your discussion?
BOFA VEM: <shrugs, even though this is a phone call, I can feel it> I don't remember.
UT: You had a problem.
BOFA VEM: Or two.
UT: And scheduled an appointment with your provider.
BOFA VEM: Uh-huh.
UT: To hopefully run some tests or give you, I don't, maybe medications to improve your symptoms?
BOFA VEM: I guess.
UT: Yet you are surprised to hear from me. Me, telling you you have a prescription and acting put out by my call.
CP: I truly wonder what happens during these visits. It used to be so simple, formulaic even. Get sick. Go to Doctor. Get a prescription. Go to pharmacy. Trade paper prescription order for actual prescription medication. Take medication, get better. Now it's so convoluted people don't even know why or when or even IF they went to the doctor within the hour, let alone any day this week.
UT: It's amazing how many of these calls I make every day and people are surprised we have something for them.
CPP: Maybe they're used to Chronic Vaginal Secretions not calling them for weeks since they are so far behind that the patients can't comprehend how we can contact them while they are still in the office!
UT: That's always great. You get them on the phone and they say "I didn't know anything about that" and you find out they are literally still in the room with the provider. ASK! How did you not just hear her say "I'm prescribing you THIS!"????
CP: And how many days will that prescription sit in our waiting bin because they forgot they went to the prescriber earlier in the week.
CPP: Yeah, that's the other one that gets me: how did you forget you were at the doctor on Tuesday?
UT: Especially when it's a specialist! You had to have made that dermatologist appointment months ago. How can you forget you went two days ago?
CP: As the saying goes: "The best thing about being dead is that you don't know about it. It's like being stupid - it's only painful for others.”
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