Facebook and Twitter

and follow my blog on Twitter @pharmacynic to receive notifications on new posts.

Friday, January 29, 2016

What Separates us from Street Dealers (If the real world worked...)

Random thoughts that enter my head get turned over, chewed up, then spit out here for your amusement. Or derision. Let's go with amusement.
I do not like plastic bags for prescriptions. I wrote a post about this before. I tell my techs that street drugs come in plastic baggies, not prescriptions.

Building upon that, I had another thought yesterday. We received a few patients yesterday that had not filled with us in some time. Whether for insurance issues, relocation issues, or spite, they left us. Now they had returned. Companies want us to be jealous. They want us to compete for the affections (and money) and loyalty of every living, breathing human on the planet. Which led to me pondering if the local street dealers go out of their way to be jealous.

SD: So...where ya been? Haven't seen you around lately.
Local User: <looking down, shuffling feet> Had to transfer corners, man. Not allowed to cross the street anymore.
SD: Still got your stuff. I'm offering a coupon to all my regulars who return.
LU: Really? Is it good on anything?
SD: Yep.
LU: I changed my regular order while I was gone. The other guy was using some other supplier and his stuff wasn't as good as yours. I needed to change it up a bit.
SD: Well I got just what you need. Transfer all your orders to me and we can set you up with reminder texts, phone calls to get your next order placed, discount cards from my suppliers on their products, and we can even give you Naloxone in case you OD.
LU: Really? No one else offers that.
SD: It is incumbent upon me to satisfy the needs of my customers. I'm in the business of making money. Dead clients don't pay.
LU: What?
SD: I mean, it's business. The more I can get you to come to me to buy, the more money I can make. The more money I can make, the less the other guy makes. Eventually I can buy out his corner too.
LU: Thanks. I'm glad I came back. I didn't realise you offered all those services. You're such a caring dealer. You really care about my high and...
SD: Yeah yeah yeah. NEXT!

1 comment:

  1. 1. I refilled yesterday. As usual, the little bottle is in a small paper bag, stapled shut with all the receipts, directions on how to swallow pills, coupons, promotions, store "cash", receipts inside or stapled to the bag. The nice tech then put all that in a plastic shopping bag. I had purchased nothing else. I'd be just as happy if they'd just hand me the bottle and a receipt, but I don't understand the mysteries of pharmacies.

    2. I just don't get the changing of pharmacies. Since we moved, I drive clear across town to keep going to the same on (even though there's another location of the same chain 2 blocks away). They are genuinely fun to interact with, and I like going there. I don't get it.