We Need to Break Up

Every day we deal with patients threatening to leave us. Whether it's customer service related, belief insurance prices will be lower, or some other perceived slight, we hear this frequently. The phunny thing is, as we all know too well, the patients who do leave manage to boomerang back to us in a month or so.
People like to believe the grass is greener on the other side. When you turn grass over, it's dirt.

After dealing with far too many patients this week insulting my staff, I finally realised what made this scene all too familiar: Patients are like your ex-significant other.

They pick fights with you.
They tell you you're no good for them.
They tell you they can do better.
They threaten to walk out.
They constantly complain about you to others.
They eat up all your time and energy.
They make you do all the work for them.
They do nothing for you.
Then they leave...

...which is good...

Until...they want to come back and...
They complain about the new person.
New Place didn't treat them the way you did.
New Place didn't know them like you did.
New Place didn't do that special thing they liked.
They didn't know they had it so good with you.

Are we really that desperate? Really?
Do we really need/want this person back?
Wasn't there a reason we were glad to see them go in the first place?
Didn't we have a Bye, Felicia Party the day they transferred?
Isn't the annoying little rash that keeps coming back enough of a reminder of the failed relationship from the first go-round?

#SorryNotSorry. You broke up with me. I've moved on. There are still a few other pharmacies for you to try.
#SellCrazySomePlaceElse