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Monday, January 20, 2020

Losing Phaith

UT: There's a pharmacist on the other line for you.
CP: Oh joy! I love speaking with other colleagues. Idle banter between professionals really breaks up the day. 
Other Professional Pharmacist: I'm getting a refill too soon message and the insurance is telling me you filled it? 
CP: I shall check. Name and DOB? 
OPP: Douche Baggins, 5/5/75. 
CP: I don't have anything filled. In fact, the last thing for her was in November. 
OPP: It's for her HCTZ 25mg. 
CP: We filled it on 11/30/19 for 90 days. 
OPP: Can you reverse it? 
CP: She got it. Picked it up on 11/30/19. 
OPP: Then why is it showing you filled it? The insurance won't let me process it. 
CP: Um. . . She received a 90 days supply. Approximately 45 days ago. She's not due until. . . 
OPP: I don't understand why they won't fill it. 
CP: I realise the groundhog isn't due yet, but even he would say that maybe it's because she has roughly 6 weeks of medication remaining? 
OPP: But they said you filled it. 
CP: I'm not sure where we go from here. Can you put someone else on the phone? Please? Perhaps my Uber-Tech can explain it better than I? I mean, she has the medication. 90 days.
OPP: Oh. So it's a refill too soon?
CP: Still once a day?
OPP: Yes.
CP: Then yes.
OPP: Sorry to bother you.
CP: No worries. I at least now have a post for tomorrow.
UT: Ouch. That was rough.
CP: Like a kiss on the lips from a sticky-side-up pad. 

Friday, January 17, 2020

Negotiations Were Short

Badgering And Raising Temper Ensures Refusal: I need to drop these off to be filled.
UT: Okay. When would you like to return for them?
BARTER: As soon as they can be filled.
UT: Of course, M'lady. It appears as if that will be Tuesday, per the "do not dispense until" date the prescriber scritched on here.
BARTER: We are hoping to leave town Monday.
UT: Don't let me stop you. Have fun.
BARTER: With the prescriptions.
UT: Then you shouldn't give them to me. I won't be able to fill them until Tuesday.
BARTER: How early?
UT: Well, we open at 8am. We usually tell people 2 hours after that time, so I'm going to go with 10am but let me check with my pharmacist. Hey, CP. How early on Tuesday? They are fleeing town.
CP: Give me 8:32am.
BARTER: Can it be any sooner?
CP: It's not a negotiation.
BARTER: How about Monday night?
CP: Again. . . It's not a negotiation. We are not dickering here. And how do you counter with a day earlier?
BARTER: My doctor said some pharmacists will do them the night before.
CP: Not sure how he came by this made-up sounding bit but, last I checked, he doesn't work here. In fact, I've never met him. Huh. Seems like a knowledgeable fellow though. Also not sure how I can legally fill and bill a prescription for one date if I fill it the day BEFORE that date happens. Perhaps I should give this smart prescriber guy a call for advice.
BARTER: So that's the best you can do?
CP: Attorney?
BARTER: No. Nurse.
CP: Huh. That was my second guess. Would've sworn. . . Anyway, ask me again and it will be 8:57.
BARTER: See you Tuesday.
CP: Bring coffee.
UT: You were right about one thing Master. Negotiations were short.
CP: Not short enough. Remember the one guy who asked me when are we least busy?
UT: Yeah. You replied "when we are closed".
CP: Right. Because we aren't doing any work.

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

New Year = Full Circle

ME: Happy New Year!
MYSELF: How can you tell it's Happy?
CP: Congratulations on spinning around the sun again?
ME: Well, when you look at it like that. . .
MYSELF: Technically, every day is a celebration of a new year. A year ago we were in this same spot in space. Hooray!
CP: Agreed. Circles are round. You will eventually come back to where it all started before being flung into the unknown, yet familiar void of the future.
MYSELF: Deja vu all over again.
ME: Can't I at least have a moment to share my post before you both circumambulate me with your circumscription?
MYSELF: Carry on.
CP: Is this about the Circle of Life discussion we had last week?
ME: It is. We were complaining about the complaint we received.
MYSELF: It really seems as if the only purpose complaints serve is to irritate those who receive them as they are often powerless to effect the change necessary to remedy the situation.
ME: Nice circumlocution.
CP: Moving on. The complaint stated the pharmacy was too busy, there were not enough employees to staff it properly, and the wait times were horrible.
MYSELF: Sounds logical.
ME: But the fact that our DM forwarded the complaint to the store with her own addendum of "please respond to the complaint and contact me with the resolution" was the coup de grace; the egg wash on the complaint pastry.
CP: <snickers>
MYSELF: What's so funny? What did I miss?
ME: The conference call.
CP: Mademoiselle DM led the conference call with a call to action. She said "we are going to start this year off right! I want absolutely NO EXCUSES! from anyone. Short-staffing is NOT an excuse and I won't tolerate it anymore!'.
MYSELF: Wow. Was she the ball that dropped in Times Square?
ME: Right? How did you respond?
CP: I replied to her that, since the patient's complaint mentioned we were understaffed and over busy, and that you (she) said those weren't excuses and excuses were not allowed, I told the patient everything was fine.
     Dear patient: Hope all is well. I spoke with my boss who invalidated your concerns by saying that, because short-staffing isn't "a thing" and therefore can't be used as an excuse, and she doesn't like excuses, your complaint is irrelevant. Please continue to use our pharmacy but change your opinion of us from one of dislike to tolerant. Better yet, like closing time at the bar, you need to lower your expectations. Once you do that you will see that we aren't so bad and maybe you'll take us home.
ME: How'd she take that?
CP: Pretty sure she still had her Flavor-Aid filled Rose-coloured VR goggles on when she read it. It appears as if she may have circumnavigated my reply.
MYSELF: My head hurts again. Maybe she realised that if short-staffing is not an excuse and she wants no excuses, then short-staffing is an acceptable answer and her brain collapsed in on itself.
ME: This whole thing gave me an aneurysm.
CP: But you still have to come in to work.

"It's okay
Had a bad day
Hands are bruised from breaking rocks all day.
Drained and blue
I bleed for you
You think it's funny, well
You're drowning in it too."

Monday, January 6, 2020

Now You See It. . . Or Not

Uber-Tech: You seem to be the type of person who enjoys playing fetch with dogs.
CP: I don't.
UT: You didn't let me finish. I was going to say, you seem to be the type of individual who would fake throwing the stick to the dog simply to derive pleasure from its confusion.
CP: Ah. Yes. That's more like me. Why the peculiar setup for this next post?
UT: It felt necessary; better than a cold opening.
CP: We could have simply put <fade in> or other screenplay-type directions.

<an average pharmacy in an average town; a lady approaches>

<the bell above the door rings as she enters>

CP: Welcome to Pill Pauper's Paradise. How may I help you today?
Comprehension Is An Obstacle: I am here to pick up my prescriptions.
CP: Glory be! We are happy to be your pharmacy of choice.
CIAO: I didn't have much say.
CP: In that case, we are happy to be your pharmacy of obligation! What is your name?
CIAO: Bella.
CP: Of course it is. I do have 2 prescriptions here for you.
CIAO: My doctor sent 3. Where is the other one?
CP: I do not know. I do know that I have 2 for you.
CIAO: Which one is missing?
CP: The 3rd one.
CIAO: Well he sent it, so I don't see the problem.
CP: Well I didn't receive it. Since my business is filling prescriptions I receive and not NOT filling prescriptions, I'm going to posit that I did not receive it, else I would have filled it.
CIAO: Well he sent it.
CP: Yet here we are. I have an idea.
CIAO: Okay.
CP: Let's play catch.
CIAO: I'm not sure what this has to do with my missing prescription.
CP: Step back.
CIAO: <steps back>
CP: <winds up and lobs a handful of air towards CIAO> Did you catch it?
CIAO: <flinching> What? No? You didn't throw anything!
CP: I did. Your 3rd prescription. Either you missed it, you dropped it, it was intercepted by gnomes, or I threw it somewhere else.
CIAO: What is your problem?
CP: So many answers to this. Yet germane to this conversation is the following: I don't have your prescription any more than you have something I threw at you. If I had actually thrown something, you'd have it. Yet you do not. Now, you can either accept that I do not in fact have your prescription and that your prescriber failed to send it, or you can continue helplessly volleying air with me.
CIAO: <to UT> You must hate working here.
UT: I find it rather enjoyable and amusing actually. You can give people answers but just because they don't like them does not make them any less true. These helpful analogies may seem petulant, but are quite illustrative. Sometimes the light clicks while other times, the bulb needs changed.

<2 hours later>
CIAO: Turns out my doctor only wanted me to have two prescriptions. He didn't send the 3rd one.
CP: Peculiar, innit? At least we had a rollicking good back and forth earlier.
CIAO: Indeed.
CP: Can you throw back your 3rd prescription I tossed to you? I'm going to need it for someone else.
CIAO: Sure.
CP: Sometimes, when "no" or a simple explanation seem to not suffice, a more orchestrated, demonstrative answer seems to be in order.

Friday, December 27, 2019

Lame Pharmacy Jokes, Again

Insulin Using Dude: I need to get my diabetic stuff refilled.
CP: Ok. What do you need? 
IUD: My supplies. 
CP: Needles? Strips? Lancets? 
IUD: I think so. I'm not sure. 
CP: Ok. I'll get it all ready. Your copay total will be $175.00. 
IUD: That's a lot. 
CP: Do you need insulin? 
IUD: No. I have some left. I really can't afford all of those today. 
CP: Well I can't choose for you. What are you currently out of? 
IUD: I have enough insulin for the weekend but I need the needles to make it work. I can't take it all right now. 
CP: Got it. You can't take it all right now. So. . . 
IUD: So what? 
CP: Just the tips?

Uber-Intern: That was so wrong.
CP: I know.
UI: What's really phunny is that people won't believe you actually had this conversation recently.
CP: It's phunnier because it's true.
UI: Another phor your "lame joke" file, I assume.
CP: Indeed. 

Big Shoulders

CP: I see that we received a new Rx for DAGWOOD for his Lexapro 10mg.
Uber-Tech: Yeah. He called the other day looking for it.
CP: I'll have to counsel him. It appears as if they changed him from his previous fill of 20mg. I wonder if they're tapering him off it, replacing it eventually, or adding something new.
UT: I'll let you know when he arrives.

Deserved Aged Guy Wanting Of One's Drugs: I am here to retrieve my new Rx.
UT: Sure thing. CP has a question for you.
CP: Your prescriber sent over a new Rx today.
DAGWOOD: I know! I've been waiting for days.
CP: Right. This is for 10mg. Were you expecting a change in dose? You had been receiving the 20mg for months now.
DAGWOOD: Yes. My new Rx is supposed to be for 10mg.
CP: If you have some of the 20mg remaining you may halve them should you choose not to waste them. Or you could hang on to them should you go back to that dose.
DAGWOOD: Thanks.
CP: Enjoy your new 10mg Rx.
DAGWOOD: I will, now that I finally have it.

<phone rings>
CP: Chello?
DAGWOOD: You gave me the wrong ones!
CP: Really?
DAGWOOD: YES! It's supposed to be 20mg.
CP: Ok. Well you'll have to get a new Rx from your prescriber or you can double the 10mg you received earlier today.
DAGWOOD: You should just give me a new bottle for free.
CP: You're cute, and funny. I realise it's Christmas and all but. . . How do you figure?
DAGWOOD: It was your mistake!
CP: <laughs>
DAGWOOD: I fail to find humour in this!
CP: And I fail to find logic in your, um, logic. You received a new Rx with a new dose. We verified the drug, strength, and dosing with you during our consultation at pickup. You verbally replied "yes" to each question; that you knew there was a change made. At what point is this my fault?
DAGWOOD: Why would my doctor change it?
CP: That's why we ask. Typically we don't make your office visits with you. We expect that you actually attend your scheduled appointments, have a discussion with the office, then leave with either an Rx in hand, or assertion that one will be transmitted for you anon.
DAGWOOD: Well what do I do now?
CP: Have your hearing tested. We had a conversation, you and I, during which you actively participated. You then complained your prescriber changed your medication unbeknownst to you. I then explained that you should call your prescriber and that you could double the 10mg Rx you received just hours ago, if you believe the 20mg should be correct. I'm pretty sure the common denominator here is your ears.
DAGWOOD: So you're not giving me more?
CP: No. I have given you all that you need. Merry Christmas!

UT: That was rough.
CP: Yes. After this conversation, I'd swear I was talking to a millennial. They don't know how to find answers. They want to know all the answers, but they don't know what to do with them once they have them and, worse yet, they don't know how to find them unless you directly stick their noses in it.
UT: Bad dog!

Friday, December 20, 2019

How To Bring Down Satan

like al capone and tax evasion

little things: 
-state audits
->180 days from written date (state dependent)
-ins billing fraud 
(misbilling/labeling/branding, esp OTC NDCs)
-not calling to verify rx's

-Just put them on auto refill
 -we're filling old drugs/strengths/quantities/days supplies which adds time because we now have to enter notes to counsel at pickup about which is correct. or the system tries to fill old rx's from many months prior for no reason

Thursday, December 12, 2019

She's Just Not That Into You

ME: What's today's topic, CP? 
CP: Masochism. 
MYSELF: Come again? 
ME: <titters>
CP: As in "a taste for suffering".
ME: Odd. 
MYSELF: Not odd. Totally normal. 
CP: Anyway. I was reading complaints people had sent me and hearing their stories about how their bosses were telling them to apologise. I remembered a few of my personal complaints where people were being assholes to my techs despite repeated warnings from ME. 
ME: I like to give them a chance to realise their behaviour is not welcome. 
CP: If I have to step in, it's their last chance. If they have a problem with me, then decide to complain, our relationship is over. 
MYSELF: What does this have to do with suffering? 
CP: As I was reading the latest complaint about a situation where following the law trumped the patient's desires, I asked MYSELF "Why do we work so hard to retain people who hate us?". 
MYSELF: To which I replied "good question". 
CP: People will write bad reviews, call after every visit and complain, or cause a scene. Go away. Maybe something will change. Maybe. Take some time off from here. You can always return in the phuture. 
ME: It's like going to a restaurant, getting bad service, and continuing to go there, and continuing to give them severely negative Yelp reviews. 
MYSELF: Better yet, it's more like being in a toxic relationship. Sometimes you just need to break up with your SO. It's not working out anymore. If one partner or the other is abusive, GTFO. I'm pretty certain your phriends aren't going to stand behind the abuser's behaviour just to watch you suffer. 
CP: Precisely. Which then begs the question, If only a baby's handful of patients are unhappy, why are we focusing so much time, effort, and energy on making them less unhappy? Shouldn't we focus these resources on the people who actually like us? Wouldn't that be more impactful? 
ME: As you put it to me: "If we keep bad people, we will both be miserable".
MYSELF: You're right. That makes no sense. 
CP: Negativity is infectious. We don't try to make the cancer happy and comfortable so it can continue to grow in peace before ultimately destroying us. We excise it. 
ME: I think next time this happens, you should respond to the complaint with a TV show sendoff. 
CP: Dear patient, thank you for voicing your concerns, again, about how we don't have a drive-thru, how you get too many/few calls/texts, and how our business hours are not convenient for you despite being open 84 out of 168 hours a week. After a store conclave, we have decided to vote you off the island. 
MYSELF: That'll probably get us a complaint. 
ME: #GoodDay