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Thursday, February 7, 2013

The Bank Heist...

Drive-Thru Bank Teller: How may I help you today?
Lost Pharmacy Customer: I'm here to pick up my money.
DTBT: So you're making a withdrawal?
LPC: No. I'm here to pick up my money. I need to buy gas for my friend from yesterday's post. And post his bail.
DTBT: I don't have anything here for you.
LPC: Yes you do. My company sends it directly to you every Wednesday. Today is Friday. I gave you people 2 extra days and it's still not ready!? You lost my money?
DTBT: No sir.
LPC: You sent me an email telling me it was here and now it's not. What is going on there? All I want is my damn money. All you do is just slip it in the drawer or slap it in that tube. I come here every week and get the same thing. I've been out for over a week now and my family is going to starve and it's all your fault.
DTBT: We do get your direct deposit every week sir. In fact, we receive them from thousands of companies for thousands of employees all over our great nation. As we have informed you previously, you must actually make a request for a withdrawal. You can accomplish this through your online account or those little slips of paper designed to be completed by you and placed into my little drawer or tube. Perhaps the ATM attached to the wall immediately behind you could be more accommodating for you.
LPC: You people do this to me every time. It's your job to know how much money I get in my account each week and how much I want when I come here. I put enough money in here that I could own this bank by now.
DTBT: Technically not. You're not even close to paying off that pneumatic tube you're holding right there. Besides, you keep withdrawing it.
LPC: Then give me all my money so I can transfer to the bank across town.
DTBT: Fine sir. However you'll have to come inside for that transaction.
LPC: Can't...No shoes.
DTBT: I shall allow it this one time since no one is waiting in here.
LPC: Can't...No shirt.
DTBT: No worries sir. For a fine, upstanding gentleman such as yourself, I shall make another exception.
LPC: Um. Can't... Got no pants either.
DTBT: Do you do this at the pharmacy too? Arguing with someone but not listening to reason or fact? Maybe your doctor sent it. Maybe it needs a prior authorization. Maybe there was a delay, like your paycheck. Maybe you forgot to reorder it yourself, like your withdrawal. You could come inside to discuss this further, but please go home and add clothes.

"What would happen if a bank appeared at my pharmacy" or
"How banks would be treated if people thought they were pharmacies."

Maybe we should switch signs one day...

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