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Friday, February 1, 2013

Pharmacy of Choice

You picked me. Thank you. I will do my best job for you. Thank you for selecting Cynical Pharmacist when there are so many other, rather vanilla options out there. Special services and hours aside, you really are picking a pharmaCIST not a pharmaCY.

...Some time later, the novelty wears off and another suitor enters the picture with promises of delivery, or in-home medication swallowing classes, or chocolate-dipped KCl 20mEq tabs...

As with all new relationships, some troubles lie ahead.
Everyone is perfect until you get to know them.

New suitor only has hours from 7:15am until 3:45pm. They deliver after they close until 3:59pm. They are closed all weekends and holidays, including non-government and non-U.S. ones (Boxing Day, Canadian Flag Day, Canberra Day, and in observance of the equinoxes).
Anyway, now you find yourself without medication for an unexpected long weekend. Who knew that May starts off with May Day, Constitution Day (Japan), Greenery Day (Japan), Cinco de Mayo, Bank Holiday (UK), and National Teacher Day and your new pharmacy observes them all? Now you call me...

Traitor Patient: Please, former favourite pharmacist, can you not help me this one time?
CP: You left me.
TP: I thought they were going to be better.
CP: Uh-huh.
TP: They promised me flowers with every prescription. Gift Cards galore. They said I'd have no side effects from THEIR generics
CP: And?
TP: Now they are closed and I am without. I will most certainly meet an unfavourable fate should you not find it in your heart to provide a few pills to save mine.
CP: Nae.
TP: Prithee, why not?
CP: You left. You broke the sacred bond and trust we had developed. I knew everything (that was wrong) about you. I was always there for you, not just when it was convenient.
TP: And it can be that way again.
CP: Alas, it cannot. It has to be a clean break. I can't have you crawling back to me every holiday or weekend or every night wanting me to be there for you.
TP: We were good once. You used to help me.
CP: And you turned to the Dark Side. You made your bed with them, you have to accept their failings. I'm not taking you back. It is for the best. Through this, you shall grow. Through this, you shall learn preparedness. It has to be this way.  "Don't want to be your fall-back crutch anymore."
TP: At first I was afraid. I was petrified.
CP: You will survive.

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