<fade in> camera opens behind a young woman, seated at a kitchen table. Hands placed beside her plate. A fork in the left hand, knife in her right. Camera moves around the table, slowly panning up to show the gaunt, emaciated face staring back through hollow, lifeless eyes.
Enter Cynical Patrolmen...
First Responder: What happened?
Second Responder: She died.
FR: Obviously. How?
SR: Murder. Definitely murder. Yes. Murder by starvation.
FR: But how? She's just sitting here, peacefully.
SR: Precisely. Apparently she grew so accustomed to having everyone else take care of her that she didn't notice she wasn't eating.
FR: Who can we blame?
SR: No one. Perhaps the grocery store, her local market, everyone. Everyone else except her, I guess.
FR: But she died.
SR: As happens when people do not eat. It's sad, really. Notice her refrigerator is empty. Her cupboards are bare. No one called to tell her she was out of food. No one called the grocery store to place an order to refill her pantry. No one called to tell her any food was ready to be picked up at the store. No one billed any food to her credit card for her or ensured delivery of it to her house for her. She waited and waited for someone to tell her she was out of food and needed to eat to live. This poor woman suffered needlessly because no one had the decency to do their job. She waited until she just died.
FR: She must have been out of food nearly 2 weeks. Too bad she never thought to go to the market herself. All of this could have been avoided <starts to cry> if only...
SR: If only?
FR: If only she had taken initiative. Taken her life into her own hands. She was so young. She had a cell phone. A car. Money. She could have called the store. Visited it personally. Paid for food herself. Why did this have to happen? Why CP?
SR: People have become so accustomed to having everything done for them, they don't remember how to do anything for themselves. I bet if we check her medicine cabinet, all of her bottles will be empty too. They'll probably all have refills available, but since no one called her to remind her to fill them, to pick them up, or to actually put them in her mouth, she never took these either.
This has been a production of "If people took care of their kitchens like they take care of their health" or "What would happen if pharmacies stopped all of their compliance calls".