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Wednesday, February 6, 2013

It's not the price of gas...

...the setting- a long, lonesome highway. East of Omaha. Along the route, miles back, in a quiet car dealership the phone rings, breaking the solitude of closing hour with its shrill announcement...

Irate Customer: I'm going to sue you.
CP: Go ahead sir, everyone else is doing it these days. You'll have to get in line behind the woman that died in yesterday's post. Why are you so special?
IC: Your car tried to kill me.
CP: Christine?
IC: Um, no.
CP: What happened?
IC: The gas ran out.
CP: It ran out. I see. And how is that my fault?
IC: No one told me it was going to happen. I've been sitting on the side of the road, without gas, for over 3 days now.
CP: Sir. There's a light. Did you see a light? And a "ding" sound. Did you hear a "ding"?
IC: Yes to both, but YOU didn't call me. I don't pay attention to those things.
CP: So despite a light that shows "Low Fuel" and an audible signal indicating you are running low on fuel, you kept driving? How many gas stations did you pass from the first signal until you actually ran out of gas?
IC: It doesn't matter. You should have called me or told me before I left here. It's not my job to know car things, that's your job. I'm going to use another dealer down the street.
CP: How can they help?
IC: They wash my car for free and they have a lady there who calls me when my tires need rotated and oil needs changed.
CP: We offer those services as well but she is not a real woman. You do know that, right? She's a computer.
IC: I'm also out of washer fluid.
CP: But how? We gave you a 6-month supply when you got the car.
IC: I used extra.
CP: Who told you you could use more?
IP: They said I could use whatever I needed whenever I needed it. The guy that reviewed everything about my new car with me when I bought it.
CP: I bet he also showed you where the gas tank and washer fluid reservoir were too?
IP: That's neither here nor there. The point is you should be held accountable for my car running out of vital fluids.
CP: I bet you drive your pharmacist nuts too. You're probably "that guy". The one that sits in his chair, every single day, taking his medications and somehow not noticing the bottles are getting empty. This, despite obvious visual (diminishing quantity) and audible (the bottle sounds emptier when you shake/pick it up) clues begging you to refill them. You probably "don't pay attention" to the labels either. You know, the ones that tell you "no refill" and how much you are allowed to use at a time.

Sorry, our service desk is closed right now. You'll have to call for a tow.
This has been "What would happen if people treated their cars as they do their prescriptions".
Or..."5pm at the pharmacy counter would have nothing on rush hour".

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