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Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Corporate Is Smarter Than You!

A(nother) Conversation With Myself...

CP: Hello? Self?
SELF: Yes. It is I. What troubles you?
CP: It's been...many years since I last sought your counsel.
SELF: I know. Get on with it. People are waiting to see if this will be phunny or not.
CP: Got it. We need to stock more Epipens.
SELF: Why?
CP: It is peak season.
SELF: I see. End of summer combined with back-to-school.
CP: Exactly. So you understand my phrustration?
SELF: Not exactly. Corporate says "no". When corporate wisdom says "no" they are to be obeyed for their omniscience shall ne'er be question'd.
CP: Why does corporate say "nae"?
SELF: The very complex computer algorithm thingy shows a history of using only 2 packs per week.
CP: But it's peak time. The averages don't work now.
SELF: That's just what they tell us.
CP: But we need them, just in case.
SELF: But, according to corporate, you probably won't use them.
CP: Kinda like the patient, amiright?
SELF: Now you're catching on.
CP: I'm glad you're willing to take the risk for the patient. We wouldn't want them to pay for something that has become prohibitively expensive that they're just not going to use anyway.

CP: But seriously. Why does corporate insist on using rolling 13 week averages (just one of many options they have for programming their inventory control) to select inventory? The gas company anticipates I shall use an amount of gas similar to last September during this September. My June demand will not be the same as my February or my October demand. Antibiotics and lice treatments will be all the rage here in one to two weeks while ear drops and allergy medications will have to wait until their numbers are called again next May to enjoy prominence on our shelves. I know this. You know this. The public knows this (for they tell us all the time when we are out of stock) but corporate does not.

The next time your pharmacy is out of Medrol Dose Paks, Ciprodex Ear Drops, Epipens, it's not (always) their phault. You know those items that the big retailers advertise in their weekly sale ads? Very popular that week and likely to sell through.

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