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Friday, May 10, 2013

Should've been a lawyer...

I sometimes feel as if I should have gone to Law school too. But then I'd be more Cynical trying to argue cases with seemingly intelligent people and realizing they're a different shade of crazy than the people in the pharmacy world.
I present this true case, modified slightly for dramatic effect.

Office Lady: (on voicemail) "We called this in last night. Husband was there and said you didn't have anything so I'm calling it in again. <sigh> They are not in your computer. They always use PDQ pharmacy but she is paying cash. Here we go. Again...."

CP: You say you called this in last night?
OL: Yes.
CP: You say the husband was here last night?
OL: Yes.
CP: You say the patient has NEVER been to our pharmacy?
OL: Yes.
CP: Did you tell us that last night on the first voicemail?
OL: No.
CP: Did you leave the phone number for the patient?
OL: No.
CP: Did you leave the address for the patient?
OL: No.
CP: Did the husband, who came in last night, mention that his wife had never filled at our pharmacy before?
OL: I don't know.
CP: He did not. He asked for a prescription for his wife. He gave us her name. He gave us her date of birth. Our computer showed no record of "His Wife" anywhere in the database. He left. He called you. He complained that we told him it wasn't here. Did it ever once occur to you that perhaps you were the whole problem?
OL: Of course not!
CP: Of course. Not once, in my entire career in this state, have you ever, ever! called and spoken to a pharmacist here. You always leave voicemails. Always at 11:59am and 4:59pm saying "we are here until 5 today if you have any questions". Even today, with the second, irritated phone call, you left a voicemail. How about calling to find out what happened? How about talking to a real person for a change? How about, instead of getting pissy because "the pharmacy doesn't know what they're doing", you actually take responsibility for your lack of information, your lack of ability in your job, and own up to the fact that it is YOUR fault.
OL: My fault?! I fail to see...
CP: Yes. You fail. Yes, your fault that this man could not pick up his wife's prescription. All you had to say on the very first voicemail was "this is a new patient who has never been to your pharmacy before. Here is her date of birth and phone number. This way you can call her and get her information so you can add her into your system. This way her prescription will be ready. This way I won't have to waste my time calling you tomorrow and acting all pissy toward you on the voicemail because I'm too afraid of real human interaction because no one hugged me as a child."

This plays out every day in every pharmacy in every town. The nurse calls, in this case fully aware the patient has not used this pharmacy, and leaves a message. The patient comes to look for it but gives incomplete information or neglects to say they are new and may not be in the system. What is the end result? The pharmacy looks like bumbling idiots, their doctor can do no wrong, and both the patient and office know why they use PDQ pharmacy and that's what you get for trying someplace new.

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