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Friday, May 17, 2013

L.aw E.nforcement A.ppreciation D.ay

In order to foster a more harmonious relationship between law enforcement and pharmacies, I've decided to have a Law Enforcement Appreciation Day (LEAD). For some reason, many stores continue to order large quantities of Sudafed for their pharmacies when the pharmacies do not or will not sell it. As a gesture of goodwill in the community, and a way to make large amounts of cash for our employers, let's have a day where all Sudafed products are on sale to everyone who asks. Forget the stereotyping. Forget the quantity limits. Forget the fact that their IDs are cracked, stolen, or expired. Let's let everyone buy as much product as they can carry out using only their two hands. Sudafed 24 hour and 96 count boxes of the "reds" for everyone!

How does this tie in to LEAD?
We will of course let all local law enforcement agencies know of our planned festivities. There will be a parade, of sorts, of happy customers leaving our location. Simply follow the vapor trail emanating from their vehicles and you've located all the meth labs in the county. I'm also thinking we could adopt some of the bankers' tactics. I like exploding dye packs in the boxes. You know, give them an extra box that has no Sudafed, just a dye pack. They get to the parking lot and "BOOM!", red dye, of course, al over the car. Or we could have little tracers in the security tags. Officers follow the signal to the motel or vacant house, or suburban neighborhood and bust the operation. In one day, we could wipe out the problem. This would be a win-win-win-win-win for all involved.

The agencies have empty cells to fill. Bam! New tenants for the bed-and-breakfast.
The stores have sales expectations to meet. All cash-paying customers=profit!
The stores have excess inventory! Not any more.
Invaluable relationship created between cops and pharmacies.
The scourge of meth in the community and the amount of time wasted in our stores on this will be gone.

(It's not funny, but with the requirements of MethCheck and all the other work expected of us to be the gatekeepers of Sudafed, we have better things to do with our time. Like calling your doctor for your refill because you can't figure out how the whole doctor-patient-pharmacy thing works.)

And it sucks as a regular customer to have to deal with feeling like a druggie just to buy Allegra-D for seasonal allergies. Now that stain is off you too and you can feel open and proud to ask for your favourite cold remedy.

1 comment:

  1. Your local law enforcement must be different than mine. I had a guy that kept coming back with a fake script. He had all the usual red flags and after the second time I verified the Rx was fake. So then when he came in the third time I called the local police and practically had to beg them to come to the pharmacy.

    As it turned out, he drove off (while the Police car was in the parking lot and the officers were watching him). They made no effort to go after him.

    So since I don't have law enforcement behind me, at all, I refuse to fill if there is any hint of a problem or red flag. I use the same tactic with the PSE products. We keep them out of sight now and it is easy to say "Sorry dude, we're out!"