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Friday, May 19, 2017

They Just Don't Get It

Retail is like a basketball game. As long as the other team keeps scoring, you will be behind.
My boss doesn't get it.
She is rather narrow-minded and heavily under the influence of corporate Kool Aid.
I love our conversations, however much they resemble an exercise in futility.

Can't Help Annoyingly Needling Every Location: <struts into pharmacy like a queen> Hello!
CP: <Stares daggers> To what do we owe the presence of her Royal Ladyship?
CHANEL: Just checking on my peons, I mean, my peasants, no, what did they tell me to say?, my drones? Worker bees?
CP: They get the point, Madam Superior.
CHANEL: Like the nun?
CP: Yes. Because you are Nun The Wiser.
CHANEL: Oh. I like that.
CP: Thanks for making my point. As you were saying?
CHANEL: It seems from all of my reports that you keep falling behind in production.
CP: Well, you did cut our hours.
CHANEL: No matter. Our system works majestically so long as you have the right people in all the right positions.
CP: This sounds like a royal fuc... orgy.
CHANEL: Pardon?
CP: Nothing. Keep going.
CHANEL: As I was saying, with our current system, you should be able to pump out 40 to 50 prescriptions per hour.
CP: But we currently have 50 to be typed and 50 to be checked.
CHANEL: Right. So, because Corporate is flawless and perfect and shits rainbows like my mouth, that means you will be caught up in 2 hours.
CP: Dafuq? How do you figure?
CHANEL: Simple math my good indentured servant. <waves like Glinda> That's 100 total prescriptions to be done. Divide that by the requisite 50 per hour and you get two! ah ah ah ah ah Two hours of work!
CP: Thanks Count Dooku. But there is a flaw in your system.
CHANEL: Hardly. Corporate are never wrong. Math is never wrong. Pray tell how you figure, blasphemer!
CP: Simple math You Royal ... Leader lady. I currently have 100 prescriptions in my queue. You are assuming that no more prescriptions will be added to my workload over the course of the next 2 hours. And that is where you fail as a leader. Retail pharmacy is like a basketball game. As long as the other team keeps scoring, you will be behind. When the Cavs get a lead of 20 + points, they don't just go sit on the bench and wait for their opponents to catch up and tie the score. The Cavs continue to score. They try to extend their lead. In the same way, prescribers don't just stop sending e-scripts; patients don't just stop bringing us work to do; patients don't just stop showing up to pick up prescriptions; the phones don't just stop ringing; the fax machine doesn't just get paused; the corporate requirements (vaccines, cycle counts, the order, cold calls, etc.) don't just evaporate.
CHANEL: Then you're doing it wrong.
CP: Oh. I forgot. You've also handicapped me by making me play a man down. It's more like 4v5 now thanks to your cuts.
CHANEL: Okay. <twitches> Well, you'll be caught up before you go home. Cheerio! Pip-Pip and all that.
Uber-Tech: WTF just happened?
CP: The corporate robots get twitchy when you confuse them with reality. We are like a glitch in the Matrix to them. We operate in the real world and they can't handle it when confronted with logic and reason.
UT: You mean "alternative facts".

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