How To Succeed With Corporate Without Really Trying

If you want to get noticed, if you want to get recognised, if you want to be successful, remember this: do the opposite. When you read about why people leave jobs they love, one of the reasons is lack of recognition. Awards go to the Most Improved, NOT the Most Consistent. If you do your job, and do it well, you are not the type of employee corporate values. If you suck at your job then respond with marked improvement, you are a valuable asset, worthy of recognition and promotion. Seems a little backwards, eh?

Here is what I propose. Suck at your job. (Bear with me here.) 

When a new metric is introduced, suck at it. Do the worst. Strive for sub-mediocrity. Learn how to achieve the goals, but also how to NOT meet them. This will allow you to hit them harder and faster than everyone else. When the time is right, and the same few stores have excelled at hitting their targets, step in and not only meet but exceed your goals. You will receive all the praise and glory while your colleagues will be asking themselves "WTF did I do wrong here?" when they get nothing for doing their job correctly. 

It seems to have worked for a lot of colleagues and DMs I have met over my career.

Suck at your job. Just not at everything all at once. You don't want to become a DM...Then you'd be forced to host those weekly conference calls instead of blocking them out on the speakerphone.