Here is what I propose. Suck at your job. (Bear with me here.)
When a new metric is introduced, suck at it. Do the worst. Strive for sub-mediocrity. Learn how to achieve the goals, but also how to NOT meet them. This will allow you to hit them harder and faster than everyone else. When the time is right, and the same few stores have excelled at hitting their targets, step in and not only meet but exceed your goals. You will receive all the praise and glory while your colleagues will be asking themselves "WTF did I do wrong here?" when they get nothing for doing their job correctly.
It seems to have worked for a lot of colleagues and DMs I have met over my career.
Suck at your job. Just not at everything all at once. You don't want to become a DM...Then you'd be forced to host those weekly conference calls instead of blocking them out on the speakerphone.