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Thursday, June 15, 2017

How Long ...

... is the wait?
CP: About 10 minutes. 
Pt: 10 minutes? 
CP: 10 minutes. 
Pt: You said 10 minutes? 
CP: Did I stutter? Is there another way to interpret "10 minutes" other than as "10 minutes"? Is there some metric conversion you are trying to perform so you keep repeating it aloud while mathing? 
Pt: You said 10 minutes. 
CP: I did. I was wrong. It's not 10 minutes. 
Pt: I knew it. 
CP: What I should have said was: Assuming all things go according to plan and we are not invaded, overrun, or otherwise turned into zombies or wights, and your insurance information is correct and they decide to cooperate and not deny your claim for any reason, and if the status quo remains as quotidian as the rest of my day so far and no one causes "scriptus interruptus" while working on your order then, and only then, shall my estimated wait time of approximately 10 minutes prove to be accurately precise. Or precisely accurate. Either way, the clock shall not drop until I have ceased speaking with you so you may continue to delay the onset of action or effectively move yourself aside so the countdown starts. The tension mounts ...
Pt: On with the body count?
CP: Ice-T! 
Pt: Lemonade!
CP: 10 minutes. 
Pt: Phine. 

2 comments:

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  2. Today: how long is the wait?
    - 3-4 minutes, ma'am.
    What?
    - 3-4 minutes
    - 34 minutes? I can't hear you.
    5 minutes, f-i-v-e!
    Oh, ok! I can wait 5 minutes.
    (Stifled laughs in the pharmacy)

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