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Wednesday, October 14, 2015

For What it's Worth

Everyone has a price point. There is a point at which the value of the item is exceeded by its cost. Some people spend an extraordinary amount of money on their pets. Fine. Good for them. Others spend money on baubles and trinkets and collectibles. To each his own and all that. At what point do you care less about your health than anything else?

Very Anxious Geriatric In Need of Application: Did my doctor call in my prescription? 
CP: Yes. Yes, she did. 
VAGINA: How much is it? 
CP: $286.57. 
VAGINA: Really? 
CP: Yes. 
VAGINA: Why so much? 
CP: You have $233.00 applied to your deductible. After that, your copay will be $53.57 henceforth. 
VAGINA: That's a lot for a cream. 
CP: Yes, ma'am. But if it works...
VAGINA: I've tried other things in the past but this is so expensive. What's this one called?
CP: Estrace. Vaginal Cream. 
VAGINA: Okay. Does it work? 
CP: Haven't tried it. 
VAGINA: And it's how much? 
CP: $286.57 today. $53.57 going forward now that your deductible has been reached. 
VAGINA: Okay. Let me think about it. I'll probably be down later. 

CP: (to uber-tech) How much is your vagina worth to you? 
UT: What? 
CP: Is it worth more than $200.00? 
UT: Yes. 
CP: Ok. Just checking. 
UT: I'm surprised you didn't ask her that. 
CP: Thought about it. Was afraid of the answer she'd give me. I didn't need to hear about The Tin Man and his Oil Can. 
UT: Ew. 

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