...okay, one is all I need.
I checked my cheque-book for cheques the other day before I went shopping. This was a trip to a retailer that accepts only cash or cheque so I wanted to make sure I was prepared. I noticed I was down to my last cheque. Briefly I considered walking out the door with my single cheque in hand. It occurred to me I might make a mistake. I could lose the cheque. I could make it out to the wrong place or for the wrong amount. A need may arise where I find myself going back into the store to purchase something I had forgotten or that I broke in the parking lot. The point is that I wanted to be prepared for any possible outcome whereby one cheque may not suffice.
...and then I thought of my pharmacy. It happens all too often, but we do have this one Vicious Twat who seeks out ways to get under our skin. She comes to the pharmacy at 8:58 with multiple refills and expects to wait when she knows we close in 2 minutes. She complains if we attempt to scold her for any of her misbehaving. Her greatest coup so far has got to be the "I only have one cheque" routine. She employs it with every visit. You all know it. It goes like this:
VT: Can you ring all my other crap here too?
CP: Nope. Too much crap. Take it up front. That's their job.
VT: But I only brought one cheque.
CP: Then you can go up front, ask them to allow you to overwrite the cheque for the exact amount of your prescriptions, which in this case is $53.00, and then you can bring that cash to me, we will call your debt settled, and you can go on your merry way.
VT: That's too much work and I'd have to go all the way up front then walk back here with my groceries.
CP: Or you could take them to your car, then come back.
VT: That's even more walking.
CP: You could get a scooter from up front and drive with malicious intent through the aisles on your way back here.
VT: But you're closing now.
CP: Correction. We already closed and thanks to you and your shenanigans, again, there are still 4 people in line waiting their turn. It would be different if you didn't do this to us every time you visit. It would be different if you hadn't filed a complaint against the nicest, quietest tech in my entire pharmacy because she politely mentioned the above scenario as an option to you and you had the nerve to get offended. It would be different if I didn't have somewhere to be at 9pm tonight. It would be different if if I could get The Powers That Be to kick your ass out of my store. As it stands, we are at quite the impasse. Here is how this will work. I will not accept your single cheque theory. In fact, I'd like to look in your cheque-book and verify there truly is only one cheque remaining. Besides, who tears out one single cheque? I will wait on every other patient behind you until my line ends. If by that time you have not come up with some other form of payment, I will close and lock my last gate for the night. At this point you will be faced with the following situation. You will be forced to take your own groceries up front, pay for them with your last, lonely cheque and go home. You must then return tomorrow with another cheque, or some other form of payment, and pick up your prescriptions which will still cost you $53.00. I shall leave it up to you but please move over so I can attend to all of the smiling faces behind you who also think you're being a rather snooty bitch.