I was not blessed with the benefit of foresight. I, unfortunately, was only given hindsight. Prescience is not one of my skills. This does not stop people from thinking I have this magical power. With the number of predictions I am routinely asked to make, you would think otherwise.
What time will my doctor call you?
What will my insurance copay be?
When will the prior authorization go through?
How long will I have to wait...if I come in after 6 tonight?
Who will win the EPL this year?
I decided to take a sublime approach to answering these questions. I am going to get a sound effects board for my computer. The next time someone asks this question I will announce "Sublime Time" and the whole pharmacy, a la Coyote Ugly, will jump up on the counter, join arms, do a kick line and sing:
"I don't practice Santeria. I ain't got no crystal ball."