Last One Called Gets All The Yelling!

It's a game.

Make the patient make as many phone calls as possible without actually helping him until he reaches the end of the line . . . and his rope, and begins erupting far away from you. 

Unfortunately, this usually means the pharmacist bears the burden. 

CP: Thank you for calling CP's Pharmacy. Please tell me in what manner you are going to request the impossible so I may disappoint you today. 

Richard Better Use Retail Next Script: I am without my medication. 

CP: That sucks. You should totally get it refilled. Problem solved. Next!

DickBURNS: Wait. I'm waiting on my mail order to arrive. 

CP: Ok. Since you don't use my pharmacy, I fail to see how I can help you. Did you just need someone to talk to while you wait? 

DickBURNS: No. They've been trying to fill my prescription for 2 weeks now. 

CP: It usually takes me about 15 minutes. Two weeks seems like an awful long time to "try" to do anything. 

DickBURNS: Well they say they contacted my doctor and he hasn't responded. They have called him 3 times and I have called him every day for 2 weeks. He still hasn't responded to either of us and now it's the weekend and I am out of medication. 

CP: Boy that's a toughie. First I'd suggest finding a new prescriber. Second, since it's only Thursday, I'd suggest driving to his office and requesting a prescription in person. 

DickBURNS: When I called my mail order pharmacy they told me to come to my local pharmacy and you'd give me my medication. 

CP: <laughs> I love when people tell everyone what my job is and how I do it and believe I can wave a magic wand and damn all the laws I have to phollow. What is this medication? 

DickBURNS: I need Trazodone for sleep. 

CP: Well, upon checking your profile, you have filled exactly 3 prescriptions since 2014 with our pharmacy. Not one of those is for Trazodone. Since your mail order has no prescription, I cannot transfer one from them. Since I have never filled it, I cannot invoke my State's emergency fill exemption so I am unable to help you today. 

DickBURNS: So you're refusing to help me? What am I supposed to do now? They said you'd help me! I need my medication. 

CP: First, you're not my patient. Second, mail order can't tell you what I will do in my pharmacy or my state. Third, I gave you options that included visiting your prescriber. Fourth, there are no options available for you from me other than me giving you other options that do not include me. 

DickBURNS: You're not very helpful. 

CP: Wrong. I was quite helpful. You believe me to be unhelpful because I did not give you the answer you sought when you first rang. There is a difference between your interpretation of helpfulness and the truth. I realise you're phrustrated but your ire is misplaced with me. It instead belongs with your prescriber. Had he done his job, we would not be having this conversation. I stand by my original suggestion, find a new prescriber. Besides, if my state allows me to fill an emergency prescription shouldn't mail order be expected to offer the same service? They are a pharmacy, right?
DickBURNS: But they said you'd do it.
CP: Right. Not cost effective for them. Good luck. Sleep tight. Er . . .