I Wouldn't Believe It If I Hadn't Been In Pharmacy

Just a typical week in the #Pharmacy. Full of to-be-continued stories. It's the longest-running soap opera. We need our own channel.

CP: CP's Pharmacy, How may I grovel for your business today?
DUDE: I have a question.
CP: I have an answer. That's a go for CP.
DUDE: What medication did you refuse to fill for me?
CP: We didn't refuse to fill anything for you.
DUDE: Yeah huh! It was my blood pressure.
CP: You mean the one you presented over the weekend?
DUDE: Yeah.
CP: The one that needs prior authorization?
DUDE: Yep.
CP: The one that was written over 2 weeks ago and you managed to bring in on a Saturday now that you've been out and are blaming me for destroying your blood pressure?
DUDE: That's the one.
CP: The one that I offered to fill as CASH for you?
DUDE: Uh-huh.
CP: The one you refused to pay $200.00 to take?
DUDE: That's the one.
CP: Okay. Now I remember. Why do you need the name? I faxed the office for the prior authorization that day. It's now Friday. Shouldn't they have done it by now?
DUDE: I called to ask for samples and they said I need the name.
CP: Hold on. What?
DUDE: They said I had to call you to find out the name of the samples they gave me so they could give me more.
CP: This is either the phunniest thing I've heard or the saddest testament to healthcare today. Let me make sure I understand you. Your prescriber, the one who actually wrote you a prescription for a medication, needs you to call me so I can tell you the name so you can call them and tell them what they wrote for you so you can get more samples of something they've been giving you for months? (Never mind that you don't know what you've been choking down every morning.)
DUDE: Pretty much.
CP: Are they working on the prior auth?
DUDE: Not sure.
CP: So confused right now. Your prescriber chose the most expensive, brand-only medication in this class and won't change it. Doesn't know what it is. Doesn't know what he's been sampling to you. Apparently doesn't have a charting system in the office. Didn't communicate if they're going to do the prior auth. And you're okay with this?
DUDE: Yes?
CP: Here's a secret. Pharmacists have lists. The lists have certain prescribers on them. Your prescriber is now on my list. Hopefully you choose your President better than you've chosen your healthcare provider. From this, I'm guessing you're going to vote for