You know it's been one of those days when you've been waiting since Monday for a refill for a patient and it's now Friday and the phone finally rings and this happens:
A Lapsed Nurse: Hi. This is ALN calling from Random On Call Prescribers Network.
CP: Good evening. Welcome to Pee Wee's Playhouse.
ALN: Um...I'd like to call in a prescription.
CP: And I'd like to take one from you. I'd call that kismet...or fate. Or would you prefer destiny?
ALN: Um...Apparently one of our patients was supposed to have a prescription called in earlier this week.
CP: Yes. Captain Jack. Poor lad. Been waiting since Monday.
ALN: Okay. I'm a nurse and I'm going to phone in this prescription on behalf of Dr. Zoffis.
CP: For Cyanocobalamin?
ALN: Huh?
CP: Cyanocobalamin.
ALN: <crickets>
CP: Okay. What is the prescription?
ALN: B12 injection.
CP: So...cyanocobalamin, then?
ALN: Um...<whispers as she reads> there it is. Yes. I guess that is what it says.
CP: Okay. And?
ALN: One injection per week with 11 refills.
CP: So I should give 4 injections for a month with 11 refills?
ALN: Wait. Four? <counts weeks in a month in her head> Yes. 4 shots for one month.
CP: Thanks. I see now why you're semi-retired.
In my pre-cop life, I knew an adult, college-level biology student who had to ask me what 2 X 0.2 was equal to. The decimal threw her. She was serious. She thought it was funny.
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