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Wednesday, December 12, 2012

No Means No

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop?
How many "NO's" does it take to get someone to understand No Means No?

Impatient Patient: Did my doctor call anything in for me yet?
Me: No.
IP: Nothing?
Me: No.
IP: Not for my blood pressure?
Me: No.
IP: I called him this morning. Nothing, huh?
Me: No.
IP: Yesterday, perhaps?
Me: No.
IP: Not my antibiotic either?
Me: No.
IP: Maybe last week then?
Me: No.
IP: Are you sure?
Me: No. I want to see how long we can keep this going. Ask me if he faxed anything.
IP: Ok. Did he fax anything for me?
Me: No.
IP: But you said...
Me: And you listened. Now try voicemail or e-scripts, or email, or secret courier.
IP: Did he e-scribe it?
Me: No.
IP: Email?
Me: No.
IP: Is it on voicemail?
Me: No.
IP: Did it magically arrive via secret courier?
Me: Um, No. But I like the way you think.
IP: Well what else is there?
Me: Morse Code?
IP: Is it worth it?
Me: Not really. But I'm amused. Of course by this time, I now have to check my fax machine, my e-scripts, my voicemail, my email, my Pony Express satchel, and Top Secret pneumatic tube all over since it's taken me so long to get you to understand no means no.
IP: <optimistically> How about now?
Me: No.
IP: Ok. I'll wait around for it.
Me: Of course you will...

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